Merry Christmas. Wait, Already?

Hi All,

It's been awhile.  I've been busy as all get out for the last little while, so, my apologies.

School is going well, but, I need to get caught up as shortly after I hurt my foot I got the flu, so needless to say I haven't been feeling up to doing a lot.  I'm just getting back to the point of feeling like eating and not feeling dizzy and gross afterwards.  I was supposed to go to Paul Brandt last week and missed out on that; being in a room full of screaming, clapping people while nauseated and having a pounding headache was not my idea of fun.

Speaking of work, some big changes are happening there.  I won't go into detail, because really, it would all be gibberish (it confuses me on a good day).  Any of you who know me, know I don't like change and keep in mind, I've only bee in my new position for 3.5 months so, it's yet another learning curve, but that's ok. I'm excited about the concept of all of it.  Will it be easy? Probably not. Will it be frustrating? Yeah. Will it be time consuming? I had 2 hours of training and have 2 more tomorrow.   Am I a little bit nervous? Yes, but I'm not like... terrified like I was when I got promoted.  Eventually it will become second nature just like my roles in the company so far have.

Therapy is going well.  I MASTERED the 2 inch curb! I DID IT! I am no longer scared to just take a run at it and lean forward and I'm up.  We are working on wheelies and the higher curb now.  My biggest hurdle at this point is my perceptual issues because they cause me problems judging distance and height (when to pop my wheelie and how high) and for that reason, my PT isn't sure I'll ever be able to be without wheelie bars, but she isn't giving up and neither am I.  She said she will work with me to make me the best I can be :).  Right before I hurt my toe, we had started working on walking with a walker and the parallel bars.  PT was very impressed and, she and I have discussed walking at work so I can stand up and move around throughout the day.  My boss has been 100% supportive about the whole idea, so I'm really excited about that, too.

I have also started recreational therapy and LOVE it!   I plan on going skiing in January and I'm pretty pumped.  I also got to meet the guys who run the waterskiing and they are awesome.  I'm anxious to get out on the water this summer.  I'm also meeting someone about Basketball this week.

I have had to give up Hippotherapy for the time being due to scheduling issues.  I am hoping I will be able to return in the spring but, we'll see where work and school and other activities are at.  Horseback riding has done wonderful things for me and I'd really like to return but, realistically, it is a struggle to get to because it's 20 minutes out of the city and so, I can't take the public transit.  My goal is to remain active and the nice thing is, waterskiing and basketball are in the city.  Skiing is a fair ways out, but I LOVE skiing so, if I gotta pay somebody to drive me, so be it! I'm not saying I don't like horseback riding, I just have a thing for speed and the wind in my face (and doing something useful with the stupid white stuff on the ground :)

I thought I would save this, but, my shoulder isn't doing so hot.  I had virtually no sleep last night and numbness in my hand again, so prayers that it was just a bad day and will pass would be much appreciated.

I hope everyone is doing fantastic!!

Until Next Time,

J

"He's not jaded or bitter, he's gonna leave the givin' up for the quitters"

Yikes

Long time  no blog folks.  I need prayers, really bad.  The last week has been very long and anxiety filled.  On Tuesday I fell.  I was holding onto the counter reaching for the phone and stepped the wrong way.  My toe bent and I heard a snap and then immediately I felt numbness, so, on Wednesday my dad took me to the ER after a call to the health line. The doctor said there was no fracture or broken toe, but by Wednesday evening at work I was crying because I was in so much pain.  Now I can take a fair bit of pain, my shoulder has been an 8-9 on a scale of 1-10 and I have never shed a tear (when other people were around) yet I balled over this.  That speaks volume.  Yesterday, it seemed slightly better and then today when I went to PT, she looked at it and said "it looks more bent then your other toes." Yikes! By this afternoon my whole foot hurt.  Finally, my boss said that if I needed to go to the doctor or whatever, we could go, so I was going to but, of course I had to try and discuss with mom/dad while they were at work so they knew what was going on.  Finally, I just cried.  I hurt, I was frustrated, I was stressed.  My boss finally said call your dad and tell him you need to go to the doctor because this isn't you and you're not ok. He's working.  Boss offered to take me after work but, in all honesty I felt bad making him take me so, I avoided the question.  I apologized and said that I was sorry for the drama (by no means were they mad, but I just felt badly)   Anyways, my point is this is just a tidbit of what my week has been like and then as I went to phone mom, my phone died.

Prayers for a way better week at work and way less anxiety and peace are MUCH appreciated.

Knowing When

to keep your freakin' mouth shut! I just read something that made me pretty annoyed.  I've blogged in regards to the Clausings before... They decided that they wanted to buy a ParaPodium for Ryan and are thrilled about this piece of equipment allowing Ryan another form of independence and freedom and of course weight bearing etc.and specifically requested that if you didn't have something nice to say, don't say anything. But, somebody did despite that, stating that they thought it wasn't safe and there were to many risks that outweighed the benefits,  .

Here's my thing, just because a piece of equipment won't work for you doesn't mean it won't work for someone else.  Encourage or shut up.  We all need to share information, sure but, we need to support each other.

I Can't...

I just can't close this blog.. I've tried several times and welll... I'm still here...

My standing chair was denied.  They sent the letter to my boss and cc'ed me. They didn't even send a copy to my OT.   I lost it. I was PISSED.  I phonedd my OT, and I looked into work benefits and what they will cover.  I'm still working on that.

I returned to PT to start working on wheelchair skills and it is going very well... I really like my new therapist and she's got some great ideas about how I may be able to start doing some walking again.   Pool therapy is one of the ways we will be trying, hopefully so that's exciting.

I will also be returning to Hippotherapy in about a week and half and have gone back to being in my manual chair full time with the occasional "lazy day." where I opt for the power chair. 

I again ended up in the medi-clinic with touble breathing and they have yet to find a cause and also figured it was minor enough to leave me sitting in a waiting room for well over half an hour.  My brother (who is a paramedic) was NOT pleased and just about ended up taking me to the ER. 

So needless to say, things are far from dull and I have very little time to write anymore but, I figure that once every few weeks is better than keeping it all in my head.. that's how people go crazy :)

J

Closing Down Shop

Hey all,

I have decided to close down this blog.... When I started back to OT I had lots to write about and share.  i don't have the time anymore to keep this going and to be honest, I need to let this blog go as part of letting the time I spent in therapy go.  I will be starting with a new therapist very soon and because of that I feel the need to start entirely fresh.  There may come a day when I decide to blog again, but for now all I can say is thank you for everything and please know that I appreciate every single one of you who took the time to comment, read, pray, whatever.  Thank you.

"He's not jaded or bitter, he's gonna leave the givin' up for the quitters."

J

.....

I'm not even sure what to title this post.  I don't know how to put into words what I feel right now.   Usually when I get into this funk, I get out.  I can't seem to.  I have moments of happiness and moments that are anxiety free but they are extremely short lived.  

I'm still struggling in Math because they  still want me to draw graphs.  I finally decided today I am handing in my math binder with a few incomplete assignments.  I don't know if I'll finish the exam.   I got  a 53% on my Biology exam, thankfully I get to pick one exam mark to drop at the end of the year so, that might be it.   I have talked to quiet a few people about this graphing situation (for both now and university).  The online learning person I emailed told me there should be no problem with me using my graphing software next year (and she'll be my Math teacher, apparently)    I also spoke to some people at several universities who assured me the graphing issues could be worked around.  Good.  But then, I explained to one of them I wanted to go into Occupational Therapy.  She told me I should look very carefully at the Essential Skills document.  I did and it is required that not only do you have the physical abilities (walking, bending, ect) but, you also have to have proper spatial abilities. Problem. I do not possess very good spatial acuity/abilities as I've mentioned before.  They have a reasonable accommodation policies but, I'm not sure what exactly that entails.   I think it's also bringing forward the fact that it might be hard for me to find a job where my abilities could be matched with the duties of the position.  I know that being an OT is my dream job and it has been for a very long time.   I really hope it works out, it's got me kind of distracted.

Then there is this whole reno thing.  The tile guy screwed up big time. He got grout EVERYWHERE and I mean everywhere.  We had to pull out all the tile he put in. So now, I've been without my bath lift for 5 weeks and am having to be lifted in and out of the tub which isn't good for my shoulder or mom's back.   Still no ramp/tie downs for van yet.  They were approved by insurance and the DME ordered them, but they're not here yet so, dad called DME. DME said he would call back after he contacted the manufacture.  No phone call.

Oh and my shoulder. UGH! I went to see the Physiatrist yesterday and he said he is almost positive I have a tear in my superspinitis (rotator cuff).  Awesome.  He tried to look at my MRI yesterday but, the server they are on was down.  He says he doesn't know if there's much they can do due to my lifestyle.  He said as a last resort they can give me some special injections.  What they do is take blood from your shoulder, remove the platelets, and inject them back into your shoulder.  This does wonders for healing, but he's not sure why  It is apparently very expensive and is not covered by insurance.  At this point, though, mom and dad will do whatever they have to do to make my shoulder better for the sake of my health emotionally and physically. 

We also decided to go forward with therapeutic riding so I'm pretty excited about that .  I think my OT says it best; "It beats sitting on the floor for an hour doing stupid stretches."   I think that's the first time I've heard one of my therapists refer to my stretches as "stupid." :).  The doctor also said I will probably need some Physical Therapy.  Gross :).

On the subject of therapy, they did go on strike.  Not everyone, though.  However, there are more walking out everyday.  As of this morning, I still have OT but, that could change.

You can maybe see now why I feel like I just can't take anymore I'm not going to lie; right at this very moment my faith is running low.  Please pray for things to calm down and get better.  Please pray that I can still have therapy this week and that it is a positive session. Also, please pray this strike does not have to last long and can have absolutely minimal effect on patients.

 Thank you for your thoughts prayers and PLEASE don't be afraid to ask me to return the favor whenever you need.

Stress is an ignorant state.  It believes that everything is an emergency.  ~Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind

J

Better Now.

Hey all,

Things are still crazy busy and I am TIRED! Math is going very well and my teacher seens to be very adaptable as far as my my inability to write/draw.  We have a PPP meeting with the new resource teacher and maybe my teachers on Friday morning.

I pulled a muscle in my shoulder, but, that's just what happenes when you have a prior injury; injuries happen easier.  I have to make an appointment with my PT anyways, I haven't seen him in almost 2 months due to working and transportation issues.  

I went to see my doctor and he told me that I did have an infection when I ended up in the ER and that cough I have is a post-infection cough so, I am on an inhaler and if I don't feel better by the end of the week, I have to go back to the doctor.  He said it could have been a UTI as there were some white blood cellls in the sample they took, but, the antibiotics I was on should have taken care of that.  He thinks my heartrate was due to the fever and stress.  So, I've gone back to happily drinking my coffee without fear :).

Nap time!

Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."  Luke 18:27