I've never understood it, will I ever? I have never understood why I ended up with this chair or this life. I am not complaining but, I am at an age where I finding myself wishing it was different. I put on a smile and I keep going because I don't have a choice, this is the hand I was dealt. That d0es not mean that I do not feel angry at times.
Those damn curbs, stairs and small ass bathroom stalls get to me. I don't have the balance to be without anti-tippers so I can do curbs. We tried and I had another tip and smash head episode. I don't get the PT I need so I can learn to do these things. Worst of all I roll through a store and get that lingering stare. Why? What did I do to derserve that? I actually had to leave a line-up the other day because some 16 year old girl just thought seeing someone sitting in a chair was AMAZING. I feel like turning around and saying "I'll give you something to F**@$ing stare about."
I know if it were not for that chair, I would not be who I am nor would I know a lot of the amazing people in my life that have inspired me, helped me, encouraged me and loved me. I long for the feeling to stand and hug those people or to be able to look at someone in the eyes when I'm thanking them for what they've done for me without them having to kneel down to my level.
Sorry, I needed to vent and I hope you understand. Thank you for sticking by me for my friends who read this, it means the world to me.
On a side note, I would like to ask for you to check out Ryan Clausings Caringbirdge. He was injured a few months ago in a motorcycle accident, left paralyzed from the nipple line down. It's his little one's birthday today and he had to go to the hospital halfway through for some medical issues. Please keep your fingers crossed he can be home for his anniversary tomorrow and for his little guys birthday Thursday!
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/ryanclausing
"He's not jaded or bitter, he's gonna leave the givin' up for the quitters."
J
