Not Sure How I Feel

Hi all,

The last few months have been busy and I have gone through a lot, some good and some bad. Some I will just touch on because they are a bit to personal to share. I took a risk and did not appreciate the end result, but do not regret it one bit because I know that I can fall to the ground and I WILL pick myself back up and I WILL be okay. I've always known that, but sometimes I need to remind myself.

Anyways, about a month ago I was put back into Occupational Therapy to work on some daily life skills. This has been something I have wanted for a while. We are working on mobility related things (wheelies, going up and down curbs, transfers ect.). I look forward to therapy ever week because I know it's going to make my life easier and better and it helps that I finally have a therapist who does what he needs to do to help me. I have been let down by a lot of therapists so this is very important to me.

This brings me to my next point. My OT is coming to my house on Thursday to do a home assesment meaning, see how I get around and what he can do to make that easier, both through therapy and modifcations. I'm not sure how many of you know this, but I live in a four-level split home so I can not use my wheelchair to get around due to stairs and a few other obstacles. So, instead I crawl but, due to the problems with my shoulders and knees, this is no longer an option. My OT has told me that if we don't chage my mode of getting around the house, I will quickly lose function in my shoulders. As a paraplegic, this is something that is very scary for me. My arms are my mobility, my independence, and my freedom and I can not imagine life without that function. No, I can. I just don't want to. We are looking at getting a platform stairlift put in as my room is downstairs. This would alleviate the need to crawl up and down the stairs and my room itself (with some re-arranging of all my crap) would be accessible. So are my kitchen and dining room. We will be putting hardwood in the living room (there is currently carpet) and I will work on wheelies more to learn how to go down the step that leads into the living room. The only real problem I see is the bathroom. We have a bath lift. but if I wamt to get my chair in the bathroom there is quite the possibility that the doorway will require widening, which I'm not even sure can be done and the bathroom itself is quite small, although with some manuvering I think I'll manage. There are a thousand things running through my mind about this, but I will find out more Thursday.

"He's not jaded or bitter, he's gonna leave the givin' up for the quitters."
This lyric has never stood more true to me. Things are stressful and hard right now but I WILL NOT give up, I will keep fighting; I will always keep fighting.

J

p.s
For those of you who believe in praying, would you mind sending up an extra prayer that our house can be modified enough for me to get around? It would be much appreciated.