Just Me

This is how I feel right about now. That I am just me and I don't matter; the professionals who work with me could not care less, to them, it is a job and at the end of the day they get paid, they go home. Who cares about the person they were supposed to help?  I have been trying to wait to blog until something good happens because I feel like I'm just a negative person and you really don't want to read this. I'm sorry.  The last time I blogged, we were in the process of trying to switch schools.  That blew up in my face yesterday.  About a week ago, my mom got in touch with the vice principal of the school I wanted to move to, he sounded encouraging and said he simply needed to find out what my program was like (EA time, assistive technology needs etc.) to make sure he would be able to accommodate for that.  He phoned the VP of my school yesterday and my VP made a huge fucking deal out of it.  He called my mom and all he asked was "is this happening? Do we need to move her whiteboards?" Not why are you leaving. Not is there something I can do to make this better. Nothing.  He told the VP of the school I was going to go to that they were doing everything they could to combat the situation with this other student.  Bullshit.  It's he's got a brain  injury, get over it and ignore him.  You remember a few months back I received my standing frame. We wanted it at school to combat shoulder pain (sitting all day makes it worse).  They said they did not have room for it just like they don't have room to accommodate my scooter. Instead, I had to go out and spend $6000 out of my pocket on an ultra-light manual chair so I didn't kill my shoulder.  Anyways, my OT called the school in early December and talked to the Resource teacher to find out why the standing frame could not be accommodated.  The resource teacher claimed she again, did not have the space.  My OT proceeded to ask if we could move any of my equipment into another room to make the space. No. He said OK and got off the phone, later telling me he didn't want to push it because he didn't want to create any more problems for me. Fair call.  Fast forward to yesterday and the call my mom gets from the VP of the school I wanted to go to.  My mom tells him this about the standing frame and he says that the VP from my current school and the rest of the admin team feel it is better used at home. Oh yes, I forgot. You are a physical/occupational therapist. Stupid me.  My mom asked him what made them qualified to make that choice and he says to her what makes you think you're qualified to make the choice it's NOT better at home? Who the hell do these people think they are? I am the user and they are my parents.  They know what my needs are as do I because this is my life and we have been living it the last 17 years.  Anyways, mom says it actually was not me, it was her occupational therapist who felt it should be at school.  He proceeds to tell her that he was told by my current school that my OT said it was not necessary to accommodate the stander at school. WHAT?! That's really funny because just last week when I told him I was ready to move schools, he said if it was just because of the stander he was ready to put up a fight to get it there.   Do these people think we're stupid? The only person from the school who has spoken with my OT is the Resource teacher.  This is what she does.   She twists people's words to fit where SHE wants them so she doesn't look bad.  Anyways, to sum it all up because my current school claims they are doing everything they can to accommodate me, the school board will not support the move to the new school because they claim the new school will not do anything differently( if I moved I would be removed from the student who is causing me problems).   This is stupid because obviously my current school is going to claim they are doing everything right so they don't look bad to the school board.  What they really are is a bunch of useless, lying, unprofessional people.  If we move without the support of the board I lose EA time, transportation and possibly, my AT (that one I'm not sure about).  So for now there will be no moving and my mom has been in touch with my OT to find out exactly what he said to the Resource teacher (I know he didn't say what she says he did but, what I feel think and know doesn't matter because remember I'M the liar and I'M the one with perception issues) and she has also let him know that she does not want him communicating with the school right now because of everything they are saying that he said that he didn't. actually say so it's really not even worth his time or ours for him to talk to them.  My parents have a meeting with the VP before the start of the second semester and if things do not improve, we will move to the Catholic School System or do home bound teaching but, this would mean having to give back my AT and purchasing everything from software to hardware out of pocket or getting the Catholic board to submit requests for the things I have with the Public Board and waiting 6 months to receive
it.

Sorry this is so long but, what really gets to me is I didn't ask to need all the extra support services in my education.  You don't want to do your job because it's to stressful or hard? Welcome to my life.If they would just help me for the next 10 months it would be done. If they would just SAY they can't accommodate the scooter and standing frame instead of lying about it, I would be supported by the school board about moving schools and I wouldn't be their "problem" anymore.  Do your job or get a new one.  One that does not involve helping people or perhaps one where people have the pleasure of not knowing you exist period.

"He's not jaded or bitter, he's gonna leave the givin' up for the quitters."

J