Big Step... or Rather Steps

Yesterday went fantastic. Both my boss and supervisor walked twice with me (Yeah, I overdid it just a bit).   and had a chance to see exactly what they need to do.  I am getting better at steering, but I still need guidance.  I used to use a Reverse Kaye Walker, so not only am I adjusting to walking the opposite way of how I've always walked, but I'm also adjusting to walking with a walker that has four wheels instead of two wheels and two rubber stopper/feet things. I still needs cues, too.  They have to watch my feet because I tend to, when I try and sit, have one foot way farther away from my walker than the other. They need to be placed close to the walker and even. My boss had to remind me a few times to slow down or "watch your feet" :) when we were walking (I think part of that was nerves and feeling like I had to walk at a fast pace so we could be finished).  They were also taught what to do if I fall, so I feel like in any situation that might occur, I'll be safe as long as one of them is around.

The next step will be picking out a walker; I emailed my DME to set up an appointment to do that and my PT will write up a requesition for insurance.   When the walker comes I will walk with my PT to make sure everything is good and then, I'll be able to walk at work.  I have, however, made it VERY clear to my boss that only he and my supervisor can help simply because of making sure everything is being done in a proper and safe manner... and he is totally fine with that and has reassured me that he will make certain everybody is aware they can not help. I did have to sign a waiver stating that I won't sue anyone if I get hurt or something like that and for that reason, it's even more important that people don't try to help because since they don't know how to help, I could get hurt far easier than if my boss or supervisor were helping.

Last night while we were waiting for the bus, my boss asked if I thought that I might get to the point where I could ditch the chair period. I stopped for a minute and thought about how I should respond.  I couldn't look at him and I mumbled the answer; " I don't know." It was right then, as I tried to figure out how to answer him, that I realized I can't imagine my life without the chair. It's not that I don't want to.  It's not that I don't have hope that the idea that he had will one day be a reality, but, at the same time, it's scary.  My chair is my comfort zone, my safe spot.  For me to be standing there with them yesterday, my safety in their hands, it was.... hard.  Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm going to get hurt; they are both very careful and patient.  It's just.... Hard. It is a reminder of what my shoulder took from me.  It is a reminder that my rehab process did not start over, but it kind of took about 50 steps back.  But that's ok.   I have an awesome PT,  and the support of my boss, supervisor, workplace as a whole, and my family.  That means more to me than any amount of perfect road of rehab could have.

"And everything that's anything  starts out as a little thing. Just needs a little time and room to grow. Step by step, day by day, it all adds up along the way."- Brad Paisley.

The little steps will lead to BIG things and I need to remember that the things that are worth it don't come easy.


Please pray that things continue to go well at work and that therapy continues to do great things in my life.

J