Feeling Proud.

Today was a big day; my graduation.  I finished with a 77% un Math so that's awesome.  My Math teacher said congratulations just as I dropped my diploma on the floor :).  Wheeling and holding a diploma is difficult.  I was excited about this because he has been my Math teacher for both A30 and B30 and I had to work incredibly hard to do as well as I did in Math.  I really enjoyed myself tonight.  I know it sounds silly, but I am proud of myself.  Going from someone who wasn't supposed to even be able to hold a pencil to someone who graduated; I worked my ass off to get past all the challengess because I want it so bad.   I did it.  Yes, I have Physics and Math and Chemistry next year, but for now, I am celebrating. I. Did. It.



I have had my doubts over the last few days about whether I should be an OT. I want it SO bad but, I question whether I will be able to do the job because of physical/mobility and preceptial issues.  Then I stop myself.  If I didn't try something just because someone told me I couldn't do it or because I thought I couldn't do it, I would not be doing 90% of the things I am today.  Why should being an Occupational Therapist be an exception.  I have to try.  I have to give it my all.  I have to follow my dreams.  I will not live in fear of failing at being an OT (or at least I'll try).  I will not live full of regret because I didn't try.  I will not let the Cerebral Palsy or the people who think I can't do it have the satisfaction of being right unless I give it every ounce of my heart and soul (as my grandma says I do with my schoolwork) and  it truly can not work.  I believe that where there is will there is a way and I remember that my OT told me that if there is a university profession that can be worked around, it is Occupational Therapy.  I remember that OT has changed my life.  I remeber that I want to be an OT because I want to change the lives of others.  I have to try with every ounce of my being to become an Occupational Therapist.  I could write more, but, I won''t because I am really tired and I would just be writing things you have read before.

My sister and nephew came to my grad ceremony as well as my mom and dad and grandparents. It was really nice to have them all there sharing that moment with me.   My sister and nephew were also able to join us for the banquet, unexpectedly, so that made the night far more enjoyable.  I had the most handsome date out of everyone there :)   That boy is so well behaved for only being a month old.  He is smiling already and it is the sweetest thing you'll ever see.  Tonight it really hit me (apparently my sister now reads this blog, but whateverr) I am lucky.  My family drives me crazy, but I felt so proud to be sitting there with them tonight.  I fight with them sometime, but I would fight for them any day.  I am so proud of my sister and the way she has grown since the birth of my nephew.  She is a wonderful mom and a wonderful suster.  So, since you're reading anyway, I may as well make it worth your while.  I'm proud of you and I know I don't say it nearly enough, but I love you.  Thank you for all the support, encouragement, faith, hope, strength, and love you have shown me over the years.



Sisters is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship.  ~Margaret Mead

J 

Break

I finished my last exam yesterday and just relaxed today.  It was really nice to be able to sleep and just hang out.  This was the first day in a while I didn't have something to do.  I'm so glad school is over and to be leaving all that stuff behind.  I am hoping to go on Monday and meet the Resource Teacher who will be managing my case while I take my online classes as she has also arranged for me to meet my online teachers.  I think I like her; she's helpful already and my online teachers have been, also and school hasn't even started.  That's a good sign.  Granted, people are typically gunge ho at the beginning and then change their attitude, I will give these people the benefit of doubt. Also, as hard as it was to leave OT,  when I got a hold of my OT to let him know about my choice (I know you're thinking "she seriously emailed him already? It's been like 2 days." Yes, yes I did) he even said he feels taking some time off is the best thing for me right now.  When your therapist tells you they feel you need to take some time off, you probably really do need it.  He also told me "you have done some incredible work this year and I have been very pleased to be working with you on some of it." That was really nice to hear because I feel like sometimes I didn't work hard enough, or do enough, or get anywhere, but when he can see how far I've come, it reminds me that I need to stop and look at the little things.  It can't all be huge leaps and bounds.  Rehabilitation is a slow process.  I will continue to work towards independence throughout the summer.  My OT is most likely going to discharge me and then I will be readmitted in September under the care of a new therapist to reevaluate goals and challenges that need to be worked on.  If you had told me in January he was going to discharge me (remember that fiasco that I JUST recently shared?), I'd have lost it.  But now, I am simply at peace (with my moments about it of course) because he has helped me get on a path of independence and there will be OTs and PTs and parents and friends to help along the way, but, ultimately, I am the one who has to keep myself on that path.  I just needed someone to give me a kick in the ass and that's what he did.

I applied for a couple of jobs and am hoping something will come of it soon.

Also, I feel boredom creeping in already.  That's a bad sign :)



 No one can cheat you out of ultimate success but yourself.  - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hard Day.

Today was and still is extremely difficult.    I had my last OT session this morning and that in and of itself was really hard.  I met my new OT this morning, but after some discussion with mom and some serious thinking, we have decided to not pursue that option.  We had clinic with Ortho and PT today (thanks for prayers about that!)   and I am in for a long, intense rehab process.   My PT recommended another PT so, we just need to get our insurance ducks in a row and then it shall begin.  This is part of the reason we decided not to pursue OT at this time; We feel that if we can get my shoulders to a more stable point, I will be able to participate more in OT with things like wheelchair skills and kitchen work (we made macaroni and cheese today in OT and I couldn`t even drag the pot across the counter).  There have also been a lot of therapy changes in the last few months and it is becoming a lot for me to deal with.  Over the past seven months, I have worked incredibly hard in Occupational Therapy, not only physically, but also emotionally so that I could trust my therapist enough to let him help me and so I could accept some of the issues that can not be fixed.    I need a break. I am simply not ready to just move straight from one therapist who I am very comfortable with to a whole new person.  Mom and I both feel that because of how attached I was (and still am) it is not a good idea to get involved with another OT right now because I would constantly be comparing them to what I had and expecting them to fill his shoes.  The other thing is, the new OT is leaving in September, so if I was still there come September, it would mean ANOTHER change and I just can`t do that.  The plan is to take the summer and distance myself and just enjoy my time off.  In the Fall, my OT (the one I was seeing) will either call us and set us up with a new OT or I will get a re-referral from my GP or Ortho doctor for more OT There will be some new therapists there in the fall and as I said, we are hopeful that I will be able to work on some of the goals I was not able to (or at least not as much as I`d have liked or in the way I needed to).  We will also look into adding a standing component to my chair at that point (it`s an option on my power chair so, that`s cool) because my OT feels like I`d be putting less strain on my shoulders while in the kitchen, plus, when I start university, I won`t be able to have my standing frame there.  Another advantage is that I may very well be able to move around while standing.

I have officially finished up my time at the pediatric rehab center here and will now only see PT if there are issues.  That`s bittersweet as there are many memories there, but at the same time, it means less health care pros are needed on my team and that is a sign of progress.   Mom was telling PT how many changes and progress she`s seen in me since I started OT. Yeah, that`s me, progressing despite all the people who never expected me to do it, and I`ll keep doing it. Always. :)

I thought I would share this video.  It has inspired me yet again to pursue my dreams of becoming an OT.  This guy is a T level paraplegic and is an OT at The Institute for Research and Rehabilitation

http://www.myfoxhouston.com/dpp/news/local/110617-best-dad-on-wheels-changing-lives-at-tirr

I continue to ask you to PLEASE pray for HARD this strike to end as they were of the job in my city and 
three others again today.  I also ask you to pray for our renos to be completed soon so we can get out of here and into something more chair friendly, but for now that the bathroom can be finished so I can use my bath lift again (it`s driving me having to have people lift me into the tub, as I`ve mentioned before) and that my stairlift can get put in as soon as possible.  I also ask you to pray that PT will work out as far as insurance and helpfulness.   This one is a long way off, but, could you also please pray that we can somehow get the standing feature on my wheelchair. Please also continue to pray for strength as I adjust to the new situations as far as therapy.

Thanks all! Please let me know if I can help you out as well.


"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him."
Jeremiah 17:7 

J

Rain Is a Good Thing... NOT

Hey all!

It was pouring here earlier today.  We had to go to the hospital for hip xrays and my dad got soaked because there was so much water in the parking lot.

I had my Biology final exam today.  I seriously wonder how I'll make it through the Biology/Anatomy/Physiology classes required to become an Occupational Therapist.  I think I did ok, but I focused big time on the long answer questions when I was studying and not so much on the little things so, I muddled through the multiple choice.  

Tomorrow is my appointment with Ortho/PT for my leg/hip check up and hopefully also to discuss my shoulder as it's hurting again (stress and spending so much time typing because of final exams). There was more strike action in my city today as well as two other communities so, PLEASE pray HARD that this strike can come to an end and they can get what they need.  PLEASE pray HARD that I will be able to see my PT tomorrow as well as my Orthopedic surgeon.  Also, our Cancer Agency is now starting to strike (they are not currently working voluntary overtime hours and served their 48 hour strike notice last Wednesday). This what the government is doing to our province.  I ask you to pray for those being affected.  Having Cancer is difficult enough and scary enough as it is without the added stress of the agency you need taking strike action.  I feel weird asking for this, but, this November or maybe this fall, there is an election coming up.  I ask you to pray that our premier gets voted out as I feel that he is completely destroying our healthcare system.  He wants to privatize our healthcare.  As someone who relies heavily on the healthcare system and provincial health insurance, that is scary to me. 
Please also pray that I am able to have one more awesome session with my OT tomorrow.  Aswell as for strength tomorrow as it's going to be a rough day.

Thank you :). 

"Reality can destroy the dream, why shouldn't the dream destroy reality." — George Moore

J 

More Therapy Changes!!

Group Hippotherapy is starting in July.  I'm not entirely thrilled about the idea. It's not even that I don't like being with other people.  It's that when I am at therapy, I am dead focused on the task at hand and I find when there are other people around besides my therapist, I get extremely distracted and sometimes even uncomfortable.  My therapist isn't giving me a choice, though, so we'll see I guess.  My dad is concerned about it because I have made significant progress and it would be bad if that was lost because I wasn't able to focus in therapy.

My hair is going pretty well.  I've done it a few times since I did it at OT and I think I did a-OK.  My OT says I need to stop being so hard on myself and realize I am making progress.  True that.   He taught me to use my right hand to straighten my left side because crossing over allows me to position the straightener properly.  Also, because of my perceptual issues, when I do the back of my hair, I'm not supposed to look in the mirror because I know I'm supposed to pull down, but, when I look in the mirror I pull up (silly spatial "friend" of mine wanting to be noticed)  I even tried putting it in a ponytail the other day while some girlfriends were here and I did more than I've been able to do before, but I need longer hair before it's going to work well. This week in my last session with my current OT, we're hopefully going to do a meal prep as long as I can either pick something reasonable or my OT emails me back and lets me know what would be OK to make.  Otherwise, we'll most likely be working on hair more or some other shenanigans.

I have finished two finals (both projects, not written exams) and now have Biology on Tuesday and Math on Thursday.   I'm going into the exams with an 85% in Biology and 82.5% in Math so I'm not super worried, but worried enough and I need to get my arse in gear and study.  Creative Writing I got a 91% on my Final Portfolio which is worth 40% of my final mark.  I did have to take a 0 on one assignment and a 40% on another because I misunderstood one of them and the other I just didn't do because I ran out of time.  Note to self: Just because it is an online class does not mean it can continually be put off.  It bites you in the ass later.   Especially next year with online Math and Sciences.  They are basing whether they will let me take two classes in one semester partially on how I did in Creative Writing and partially how I do the first semester of next year in my online Math.  Technically, you are only supposed to take one online class per semester (2 per year), but because I have taken online classes before, they are making an exception so that I can do my work from home and not have to worry so much about attendance issues due to my shoulder and appointments.



I have had a renewed sense of peace, hope, faith, and strength.  Thanks for your prayers about that!  I feel bad when I doubt God and I KNOW I shouldn't because he has proven to be with me from day one.  It's difficult to understand why things go the way they do and it's not always what we planned.  But, that's when we have to trust God even more and lean on him even more.

PLEASE continue to pray HARD that the Health Sciences Association strike can come to an end.  It is affecting the Child Development Program and one of the most important stages of rehabilitation is when you are young.  Please continue to pray for healing and strength for my Resource Teacher and her family.  Please continue to pray for my OT and his family, specifically for hope, faith, strength, courage, and peace.  Please continue to pray that I will be able see my PT and Orthopedic Surgeon this week and that we can come up with a plan of attack for my shoulder.  Please pray that we will be able to be set up with a good PT who has an understanding of my CP and my shoulder injury (my OT feels like this is the key to proper treatment and so do I, my mom, and my Massage Therapist).  Please also pray for strength and peace for me this week, especially on Wednesday as that is the day of my last therapy session with my OT and also the day I hopefully find out more about my shoulder.  Please pray for an awesome final session with my current OT and please also pray that things work out with getting a new OT and that adjustment process.   I've decided I'll at least give this new OT a shot because God has provided the possible opportunity for additional therapy, so please pray this opportunity works out.

Thank you for your prayers :).  PLEASE let me know if I can return the favor

J

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

Yeah, I Think This Sucks

I say goodbye to another therapist next week.    My Occupational Therapist is going back to full-time work and because of that, will now only be an inpatitent therapist.  Does this make me happy? No, not in any way, shape, or form.  My OT told me that I have two chocies; I can either see another OT or I can quit going to therapy.  I don't like either of those choices. I tried really hard to hide my tears today as we talked (and I don't think he saw, so that's good), but he asked me if I wanted to see this other OT. I couldn't even answer him because I knew I was going to cry if I did so, I just shrugged.  He said that I didn't have to say anything and that I can decide later whether I want to continue with therapy.  I don't know, I just don't know.  We talked today about how happy he is with my progress and how well I'm doing and how much fun we have both had.  (This conversation just makes me cry more.) I know this isn't his fault and he's tried to make it work, but I guess that's just the way it has to be.  You try as hard as you can as a patient to not get emootionally attached but, that's hard as hell.  You share the ups and downs of progress with your therapist and there's no way to stop the attachment from happening. 

On a positive note, I did my hair by myself today with minimual prompting from my OT which is great.  Progress at Hippotherapy is also still awesome.  I got three rings around the pole this time instead of two (mom was videotaping and this was the ONLY part she missed :) She said my positioning is awesome and we even got my feet in the stirups (before now, my hips were to tight.)   I was also able to stand independently for a little bit longer and caught my balance once when I started to fall.  Next week, we will be working on functional skills with the horse like using the reigns and trotting, so I'm excited :).  My OT noticed an imrpovement in balance today when I was transferring into my chair and had to reach down to pull the footrest out of the way, so I chalk that up to Hippotherapy.

So I ask you to pray for a couple of things; firstt off could you please pray for my OT and his family as well as one of my Resource Teachers (she was in an accident on Monday night and has some fairly significant injuries.)  PLEASE continue to pray HARD that this strike can end (there will be escalting action tomorrow).  Please also pray that my appointment with my PT and Orthopedic Surgeon can happen next week and we can figure out what to do about Physio (it won't be my current PT who does my shoulder rehab). Lastly, please pray for hope, faith, strength, and wisdom for me as I deal with the newest of transitions and challenges in regards to therapy.

"How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to.."- Unknown.

J

It's Dark and Misty

Hey all,

I'm home for the morning because my shoulder is killing me.  Your continued prayers that I can still see my PT and Orthopedic Surgeon next week despite the strike would be so very much appreciated.  I called OT this morning and my appointment is stil a go.  Apparently there is only one therapist on the rehab floor who is affected, so that's a positive. 

I continues to ask you to PLEASE pray HARD that the strike can come to an end.  PLEASE continue to pray HARD that the Health Sciences Association can either be invited back to the table and SAHO can negotiate with the Health Sciences Association, or that this whole thing can be sent to binding arbitration.  I ask  you to PLEASE pray HARD that this strike action will not have to move into other health regions (it will if nothing is done by the government by Thursday).  PLEASE pray HARD for those who's appointments are having to be cancelled, especially, the kiddos from the Childhood Development Program.

2 Corinthians 5:7  We live by faith, not by sight.

J