Please.

Hey All,

Just wanted to post and say that tomorrow is my appointment with my ortho doc and I'm not sure whether I'm excited or dreading it, to be honest.  Part of the reason for that is that the hospital I go see her at is where my auntie passed away and where I spent, I'm sure, half my childhood getting surguries. Fun stuff.   The other part of the dread being if I have to hear one more person say "I don't know." I think I might lose it.

These last few weeks have been bad. Really bad.  The good days are becoming fewer and fewer and really far between.  You see, I tried for a long time to hide how bad the pain was, I tried really hard and I just can't anymore.   I need people to understand how bad the pain is so they can understand how badly I need something done about it, but people can't understand and think I am just complaining. They don't understand that I am as tired of talking about it as they are of hearing about it. 

I have become extremely tired due to not sleeping at night and just the plain and simple fact that being in pain all the time is exhausting. I can't function at school because I'm so tired, I run on coffee just to stay awake and then come home and crash and end up not doing my homework.  I'm snappy at people because of the pain and exhaustion and little things that I would let roll of my back make me lose my head.

So please, can you pray my doctor has an answer for me STAT. 

I can handle whatever it is, but I need answers. If it's more PT, fine. If it's more OT, fine. If it's Botox, fine. If it's powe chair, fine. If it's anti-inflammitories, fine.  If it's surgery, fine.  The only thing  I will not be fine with is her giving me some pain medication and saying "see you later." because pain medication is a mask, a bandaid. 

"If you have health, you probably will be happy, and if you have health and happiness, you have all the wealth you need, even if it is not all you want." ~Elbert Hubbard



J